An oldie but goodie...

I was searching through old emails today to find a contact I have long lost touch with (good thing for Plaxo and LinkedIN nowadays... see social networking has it's function) when I came across a funny email, one of those annoying forwards that a colleague (thanks Jeff) had sent me back in '04. When I read it I thought that Intern Jon would love this. It's something everyone should have when they start a job in the real world (whatever that means). It's a list of things you'd love to say at work but of course you don't (because you're not the CEO or if you are, you won't last). Here's a challenge, say one of these things each week to someone in your office and see what happens! (BTW, I cut out the few that were boring.) (OH, and BTW, BTW means By the way Tota.)

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit .
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant. WOW I've heard that one recently!!!
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.
10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
11. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
12. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.
13. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
14. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
15. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
16. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
17. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
18. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!
19. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
20. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
21. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
22. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
23. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
24. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
25. Oh I get it... like humor... but different.

-s