Super-storm Sandy: A Blessing in Disguise?

This past weekend, 11 months and 2 weeks from the day that SuperStorm Sandy devastated our area and destroyed our home, we moved back into our newly renovated and updated house.  It's gorgeous, if I do say so myself.  The design is updated, everything is NEW and fresh and clean.  Everything is top notch or at least as top notch as we can afford.  We have a new foundation, walls, plumbing, electric, natural gas, paint, design, colors, furniture, bathrooms, kitchen, bedrooms, appliances, etc, etc... it's truly amazing all that our contractor (Billy Flanzer of Flanzer Construction) and my husband have done to get this place in order.  I will say this:  I am blessed to be surrounded by all this beautiful stuff and to now have a home to enjoy with our family for years to come.

I'm so happy about moving back home that I almost forgot the heartache, stress and physical pain we all endured this past year.  My sense of optimism WANTS me to claim that the storm was a blessing in disguise.  Matter of fact, so many people have said it.  They say, "WOW, you made out after the storm", "Oh how beautiful your home is, wasn't this a blessing in disguise", "We can't feel sorry for you anymore! Your house is amazing!" or less directly "aren't you glad you did all the work now?"

However, this pain and suffering is not yet over.  Despite the beautiful home, there are lasting negative effects of Super-storm Sandy that I don't think I can forget just yet. (Sorry optimists!)  Here's a few I simply can't get out of my head...

1. I have lost my sense of security that if you do the right things, you will be rewarded:  Thanks to the federal government, insurance and mortgage industries my sense of security and trust has been completely destroyed.  As I continue to fight for my insurance settlement, and get lost in unnecessary paperwork, phone calls, incorrect information, etc., they destroy me more and more each day.  This will not go away.  None of their processes, systems or people will change.  It saddens me (and worries me) that other people will have to deal with the same things we've dealt with this past year.  I really need to write a book or something to help these poor people!  Unfortunately, since the process and systems only get worse each day, and the people are less and less focused on helping others get through the mess, anything I write will be irrelevant in minutes.

1. My aching back, his cough, the kids' unhealthy attachment to their toys... they're all after effects of the storm.  I am physically injured due to stress and falling down the stairs, and then again falling through our broken deck and lifting heavy boxes through the 4 moves we made this past year.  My husband has been coughing since October 30, 2012... the day after the storm.  The mold, dust, exhaustion has gotten to him but unfortunately there is no test to prove it, no "cure" to take.  The only indication is his cough.  It's constant and almost reflexive.  He doesn't go 3 minutes without coughing and he's a 30-something, healthy man.  My kids are confused, they don't understand nor are as resilient as everyone says they are.  The baby (2 year old) hasn't lived in one place long enough to know what is home.  She has anxiety when new people are around, she holds onto her "stuff" and is possessive over people taking her toys.  She has to bring EVERYTHING with her when we leave the house.  Now, this may be regular 2 year old behavior... but her night terrors are real, her confusion when she gets out of bed each night searching for mommy and daddy is real.  The 6 year old is more resilient.  She was just so happy to ride her bike again and have her room with all her things.  She's excited to ride the bus to school again with her friends and have a play date with the kids in the area.  She's planning fun things but has sacrificed a lot for a little kid. She's also possessive over little things that she's collected. It's almost hording behavior and she won't give up a thing no matter what compromise we make.

1. Our financial situation is not pretty.  We've always lived within our means.  Both my husband and I work full time (60-70 hours a week) on salary, the kids are in school/daycare/aftercare, we take one vacation a year, focus on saving for retirement, pay our credit cards off each month in full, are never behind on the bills and don't have to borrow from anyone.  In this past year all those ideals have broken down.  Our life savings is spent, we've borrowed A LOT of money, our credit cards are maxed and we're only making minimum payments.  Yes we invested in our home to make it better than it was before but that all came at a huge cost.  We no longer have our emergency fund and we owe money to so many people that it's a full time job to track.  I know we'll get things back in order, but that comes at a cost of my own sanity and our credit score.

Well then, lets get off of this pity party.  We're "blessed" in that we do have a semi-healthy family, a home to grow in (that is beautiful!) and a lifetime to live.  It was amazing eating our first home cooked meal.  Doing the basic stuff like playing with the kids on the floor or going for a walk down the block make us feel amazing.  I missed this so much.  I really felt my stress level go down the minute we moved back home.

Over the next few months I'll continue to fight for our money from Wells Fargo, our mortgage company (they're holding it in escrow), from our insurance company National Flood Insurance Program and from FEMA. We hope we will get grant money from the NY Rising program despite the fact that we make an income.  It took me 3 full days to fill out that application! AND last but not least, we will recover.

Our Family has only just started recovering - our mental recovery will take a while but being home was the biggest and first step in that recovery.  I only hope that others who are still rebuilding, still displaced and still begging for their money from their insurance and mortgage companies get what they need to move forward.

So, thank you to all our friends, family and neighbors who have wished us well along the way.  We are blessed to have you to help us through and hold us up through the difficult times.  I do not ask for your pity, only your support and understanding that going through a disaster like Super-storm Sandy will never really be a "Blessing in Disguise".  I would much rather have renovated my house within my own means, on a schedule without uprooting my family, wreaking havoc on our lives and financial situation.

No, Sandy was not a Blessing.  But we learned from the experience and are stronger because of it.

-S

Sandy on Green (part 4) - Two months later... still no end in sight

Two months later... still no end in sight.

It's been a rough 2 months.  We're living at J's uncles house about 45 minutes away from home.  My commute in the morning is to take my daughter to my mom's house so she can be picked up by the bus and then I'm off to daycare to drop off the other daughter and then to work.  This is about 1 1/2 hours to 2 hours on a bad day.  Yes, traffic sucks and my commute "home" (aka J's uncles) is worse.  What hurts the most is that my kids are tired of it, they want to go home but I can't give them that.  We can't go home.  Oh and the kids have been sick, I've been sick, the washer and dryer here need to be replaced, there's no plugs with a ground because everything is outdated and I couldn't take a real shower here until last week.  BTW, add in a flat tire, 2 required oil changes, a wedding out of town, family in the hospital, Thanksgiving, Christmas and I'm about to go insane!

I laugh a lot at the ridiculousness of it all.  People at work, home, etc. approach me to ask how we're doing.  I want to tell them things are okay and they're moving along but unfortunately they are not.  Not even close.  Sometimes I actually say "we're hanging in there", sometimes I vent and tell them the truth and they do anything and everything to get out of the conversation.  It's difficult for people to understand, and they're busy... they were only trying to be nice and ask how I was doing... they didn't really want to know the truth.  They want to watch their Sandy Relief concert on TV and donate to the Red Cross and hope for the best.

What I can say is that I've learned a lot so far... and can sum it up in a few words "if you do things the right way, it doesn't mean things will go right".  Or maybe, "Don't hold your breath" is more appropriate... I don't know, you decide for yourself... read below and let me know a good way to summarize what I've learned.

What I've learned...

1. If you have flood insurance, FEMA does not help you (even if you have National Flood Insurance administered by FEMA).  Don't ask people if FEMA is helping them! Please, it's adding insult to injury.  Oh, and every time FEMA tweets about how they're helping people, a fairy loses it's wings. (shout out to my Liv for that one)
2. The SBA loan that everyone is talking about is just an advance loan to cover what insurance will give you.  It is not in addition to what you will get from insurance.  It's actually a hilarious concept... federally administered flood insurance can't get their act together to get you the money that they owe you so they offer up another branch of government to give you a loan for that money and they charge you interest on said loan.  Don't waste your time... we wasted days speaking with people, trying to fill out paperwork only to be told the real truth.
3. Oil damage will be "cleaned" by insurance company even though "cleaning" it will not leave the home safe to live in.  Yes, they do not care and they will not be back to help you in 2-3 years when the fumes from the oil they left in your foundation are seeping into your home threatening your family's health.
4. Flood insurance will provide an adjustment with a check at their leisure.  2 months and counting, we have no idea what we'll get from them and when.  Oh, and that advance check they promised - don't hold your breath.
5. Flood insurance will not replace items.  They will give you money for the depreciated value of items.  You have to figure out how to find difference somewhere (your own pockets, a 401k loan, a personal loan, credit cards, a home equity loan - see #7, what ever.)  Oh, only bottom cabinets are covered. (LOL) I've heard this so many times I want to puke.  Yea, yea, yea... flood insurance doesn't care about the value of your home.  They're not going to replace your entire kitchen even though the entire kitchen was damaged.  They will work to see what they can do to make your home liveable.  You have to deal with the home value issues later.
6. Mortgage companies stating that they are there to help are only doing it for publicity.  They are not there to help, they waste your time and tell you they cannot help until the federal government releases loan options over the next few months. "Come back to talk to us on January 28th and don't forget to pay your mortgage as that hiatus we gave you... no that won't last and you will have to pay back all your missed payments in one or we'll ding your pretty little credit."
7. You cannot take out a Home Equity loan if you do not have equity in your home.  Of course your home value has gone down due to the storm.  Why would you think that your mortgage company would help in this situation?  They do not care that you are trying to save an asset that they hold a lean on.  They'd rather you go belly up and then there are "programs" they can offer you. Oh, and if you flip out on them in their trailer (where they've been sitting for 2 months "helping victims") it doesn't actually help the situation... but it doesn't make it any worse because they're powerless anyway.... so maybe flip out just to make yourself feel better.  Yea... that's what I recommend. :)
8. If you need rental assistance from FEMA (because you're paying a mortgage and rent at the same time and can't go back to your home), you'll have to call them multiple times and find the right person to speak to as each person has a different way of handling that situation.  Oh, if you want to live in a one-room hotel with your husband and two kids, then you can do that... go ahead, find a hotel and FEMA will reimburse you. (Insert "Don't hold your breath" here.)
9. Flood insurance does not cover relocation or storage costs.  Homeowners insurance does, but you are out of your home due to a flood so they don't want to hear from you.
10. If you do receive a check from any insurance company it will be made out to you and your mortgage company.  Good luck getting the money.  Mortgage companies like to "escrow" the money until they see that there was work done on the house.  So... let me get this straight, you need money to start work, insurance gives you money, mortgage company takes money and holds it in escrow, you have no money to start work but the only way to get money is to start work.... wait a minute... do I see a catch-22 here?  Anyone? Anyone? (read last two words in monotone voice).
11. If you want to try to raise your home and increase the security and value with renovations, you will have to find a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow because that's the only way you'll be able to find the funds... Your good credit doesn't mean squat and the $30,000 that FEMA is supposed to be offering to raise your home... that comes after you pay an architect $6,000 to do a drawing, wait for an inspection and in the end, that $30k actually comes out of the total amount you could get back from insurance.  BTW, to raise your home on Long Island, the cost ranges from $80,000 - $140,000.  There is a rumor that says if your house is flooded more than once in 10 years, FEMA will give you a grant to raise your home.  BAH!  Not on Long Island with these home prices!  Yea, the Katrina homes with values that range from $30k - $120k, sure they'll raise those and give you a few bucks... but not the $400k - $1M homes that were hit by Sandy.  That's too damn expensive.... the feds would rather restore our beaches.  Last comment on this one... if your house floods 3-4 times in two months but you didn't fix the damage from the previous floods, it's not a new claim and it won't help you get your home raised (good try though!).
12. If you do the right thing and report an oil spill to the DEC, it will cost you 10's of thousands of dollars to clean it up (on your own dime) and yes, no one will want that job... they'll keep pushing you off to the next guy.  Oh, and you may even get a fake letter sent to you stating you will be fined $25,000 per day that you don't clean up the mess. Even better, when you get that letter, please read it while sitting in your car in your oil ridden driveway, outside your oil ridden home that you are doing everything possible to figure out how to pay for the clean up.  Please do that because you won't get the effect unless your engulfed in that beautiful environment while reading something that looks like an official letter.
13. If you are displaced and attempting to find something normal in another county that you do not pay taxes in, do not expect to be allowed to enter the county or town facilities (say for instance an indoor swimming pool so you can train for a triathlon).  They do not want your kind there.  There is nothing they can do to help you and by the way... why are you calling them and wasting their time?
14. No one with a job, insurance and good credit will see any of the "Sandy Relief" funds that are pouring in.  Don't hold your breath... just watch the damn concert and be happy about it. 
15. The Red Cross stops by your home every day.  Be there to pick up food rations, cleaning supplies, diapers and such.  Did I mention that you need to be there?  Oh, you can't be there because you work?  Tough luck!  Go sit in your car, in your oil ridden driveway outside of your oil ridden house and wait for that darn truck to come by with supplies you do not need... because that's the only help you're gonna get! Wait? You want a loan?  No... fed doesn't do loans, they only give hand outs... you do-gooder you... trying to be all "I'll pay it back, I don't want a hand out"! Hahahaha.  You make me laugh.
16. Living without a printer, internet access or TV SUCKS!... oh, and I miss my pizza cutter... cutting pizza with a knife sucks too... have you seen my socks? Are they in storage?  And that 3D awesome 55" TV you bought and saved in the storm... it doesn't work without the cables that are in the very back of the POD behind all your other crap.  Good luck getting them.  The TV is better being a bulletin board anyway.  Where else would we hang all of Liv's drawings? Do you remember the time you used to do laundry at the laundromat?  Do you remember that at that time you had all the time in the world because you were single and your job was close and you had no kids?  Yea... I remember that being easy too.
17. Everyone else would have done something better to prevent what happened to your home.  They know better than you... you stupid person who lives by the water!  Why wouldn't you just move?  What the heck is wrong with you?  I know that all the smart people live in the center of the island.  You must be dumb.

Thank you kindly for reading... this was actually quite fun to write up.  I hope the sarcasm doesn't scare you too much... my insanity is showing a bit.  I only let it out every once in a while.  Putting it away now... HEHEHehehehe (sounds like evil laugh drifting away).

In the words of Arnold "I'll be back..."

-s