Christmas Cards are Stressful!!!

Until the little piggy was born, I thought nothing of Christmas cards. Never sent them and didn't expect to start. Well, as many of you know, sending Christmas cards when you have children is expected. Not only is it expected, it's also required by many. Around Thanksgiving, people start asking if you're going to send cards. It's their way of saying, "don't forget to send me a picture". Since we sent ours so late this year, we actually got a few inquiries as to the status of our Christmas cards. Well, for those of you who were wondering why it took so long, I blame the delay on the fact that I had so many great options this year and chouldn't choose.

First there was this one of the little piggy and her cousins...

We thought the screaming, nose picking and blank stare weren't exactly what everyone would be looking for in "the" Christmas card. So, we then started taking pictures of the little piggy in front of the tree and in various positions. That didn't work. Don't have any to share as they all were deleted in frustration.

Then the little piggy's teacher sent us this one that was so great...



Yea, again, not something to share with the family/friends for the a happy holiday's message. At least it was funny. Finally we got a picture of her in front of the tree hugging her bear. Well, you'll see it as we sent them out very late this year (on December 26th). I signed most of them "better late than never" in the hopes that someone would find that funny.

Merry Christmas Everyone!! Have a Happy New Year!

BTW, New Years Eve is at my parents. We're having a pizza party (make your own pizza and stuff). Come join us if you're not doing anything. It's sure to be a lot of fun.

-s

Pee Pee in the Potty and other stuff

The little piggy has been sick lately. Here are a few pictures of her sleeping...

In the second picture she fell asleep with the cookie in her mouth but it fell out before I could turn around to take the picture.

Oh, also, some good news!!! She did pee pee in the potty on Sunday! She was very proud of herself and had to show Daddy.

-s

My brain hurts

I noticed that I'm really good at hectic days. Everyday I walk into the office really is an acomplishment. For instance, last week, I had a lot to do. My ultimate goal was to get into the office by 9 am at least with a slew of other things to do.



It all started around 9 pm the night before, when I was so tired, I went to sleep.

• 9:00 pm - 12:00 am --> sleeping in a dead sleep
• 12:00 am --> quickly awoken by a screaming child with a fever of 102 degrees
• 3:00 am --> back to sleep after a slew of medicine, changing diapers, water, luke-warm compressess
• 5:00 am --> woke up again from a stiff kick to the kidney by my very accurate daughter (wait, I thought I put her to bed!)
• 5:15 am --> back to sleep (I think)
• 6:20 am --> missed the alarm, rushing out of bed and into the shower
• 6:25 am - 6:45 am --> Showering, dressing, makeup, all that stuff, take medicine and pack my work clothes and baby's clothes for changing at my parents house (you'll see why later)
• 6:45 am --> start the car, it's damn cold out, pack everything in the car
• 6:50 am --> pick up baby from the bed, wake up husband, wrap baby in blanket and get in the car
• 7:00 am --> get to parents house, hand baby off to dad/mom, give her milk, show them where her diapers are, run out of house to go to get an MRI
• 7:15 am --> at MRI place on time!!!! yey
• 7:40 am --> the damn people finally call me in, why did I rush again?
• 8:00 am --> done with noisy MRI, back in waiting room waiting for them to burn a CD
• 8:30 am --> they finally burned the CD with my brain images on it and I leave to go pick up the little piggy
• 8:40 am --> get to parents house, get dressed in work clothes, get piggy dressed in clothes, grab a cookie for breakfast (so healthy) and run out the door (with the kid of course)
• 8:50 am --> on the road, stop 3 times to wipe the piggy's nose
• 9:20 am --> arrive at work, drop of the piggy in daycare and run down the hall to arrive at my training class for which I'm already 20 minutes late
• 9:30 am --> arrive in the training class where everyone is introducing themselves
• 9:35 am --> get singled out by the teacher to go pick out an object that best represents myself. I look on the table full of gumby's, play dough, puzzle pieces and there, right in front of me is a big old toy brain like this...

So, I pick up the brain and it breaks in half and falls on the floor. Yea, my brain hurts. I pick up the pieces and some how conjure together a story of how the brain represents me citing my recent brain scan as an example. I sit down and sigh. I made it! I'm so proud of myself.

-s

and then the phone rings...

I was out with friends a few nights ago and we were talking about our families. Of course I took out my blackberry to show everyone the latest pictures of the little piggy. This is when I came across one picture… Aww, how cute! - right?

Yea, well after I tell you this story (as I told everyone that night), I'm not so sure you'll be saying that.

One night, I was changing the little piggy’s stinky diaper while she was standing up. Just as I went to wipe the stinky away from her bottom, she decided to run away. Over to the wood floor she stood there and subsequently decided to pee on the floor. Then getting all scared, she began running over to me… slipping in the pee, mushing the poop on her bottom and nicely landing in the puddle of absolute disgusting mess. Now she is crying hysterical, I am almost crying of laughter then she decides to try to get up and to hug me. Oh no I say and I run away like a big baby. The crying gets worse, and then the phone starts ringing. I reach for the baby wipes, they’re empty of course so I’m running around the house, searching for baby wipes while the phone is ringing and the little piggy is screaming hysterically reaching out at me and crying that I won’t pick her pee soaked, poopy butt up. I then wipe her up quickly and try to grab the phone as she starts climbing on me (pee and poop included). I answer the phone (that’s been ringing non-stop for 5 minutes) it’s my husband letting me know that his plane didn’t leave yet (an hour late). “Not important” I scream. "I have a poopy butt, pee soaked child on my hip with no baby wipes and the sink is full so I can’t wash her off quickly. Everything is crazy… stop calling the phone!!!!" Click. I then did the best at trying to clean out the sink of all the dirty dishes so that I could stick her butt under the faucet and clean her off. In the end, this is the result…

Now, what do you see?
-s

Cookie monster

Just because they want to get rid of the Cookie Monster doesn't mean that he no longer exists. In fact, I think I saw him today in the cafeteria at work...

How to pick a big apple...

Get someone to drive you to the location...

Making vroom, vroom noises helps...

Then, find a tree and jump on someones sholders to get to the top!

Or, you can climb up on your own...

The Associate

Intern Jon graduated recently and I totally forgot to let everyone know his new name "Associate Jon". Now, let me be clear... he had graduated from college a ways back, this new graduation was graduating from an underpaid Intern to an underpaid full-time employee at the boring ol' software company. Being that I'm no longer in the same group and I don't interact with Intern... I mean Associate Jon often, his graduation wasn't apparent to me until yesterday when I tried to call JC to ask a question and he wasn't in. I was searching around for someone to call and then remembered... Ah ha! I'll call Intern Jon. Well, Intern (now Associate) Jon had the answer and then we got to talking. I mentioned that I would blog about the wonderful response he gave me (which I forgot already) and he said "will you call me Intern Jon even though I'm no longer an Intern?" Well, I was embarrassed. I'd been calling him the Intern even though he's now one of us! Not good. In the end, we both agreed that "Associate Jon" is an appropriate upgrade from his former name.

Well, Associate Jon, I hope defensive driving was really fun last night and afterwards, while you were sitting in your unregistered, uninsured scratched up Eclipse in your garage you were extremely happy that I would highlight your graduation from Intern to Associate on this very well read blog.

Talk to you soon!
-s

My little bruiser...

The little piggy is walking and talking and having a grand old time. Unfortunately with all of this walking comes a lot of falling as well. This morning she fell into a wrought iron chair and now has a bruise down the right side of her face. Then, sometime between breakfast and lunch at school she rolled around in the mud and also fell a few more times to solidify 3 additional bruises on her poor little face. This is madness! Take a look...

And she walks!

I haven't had much time to update everyone on the little piggy lately but here's a quick run down...

After her first birthday, she was sick for two weeks :( so sad. But after that, she's been doing really well.

• She now walks everywhere, no more crawling.


• She talks all the time and says words like "hot", "cat", "shoes", "keys", "bird", "ball" and we think she says "monkey".


• She copies everything you do... like yesterday, the neighbors daughter was telling the dog across the street to shut up by saying "No Dog!" and shaking her pointer finger at the dog. Well, this morning the little piggy started shaking her finger and saying "No" but sounds like "Noy".


• She knows that all her cars to ride on are in the garage and likes to ride on the back of my bike every so often in her seat. She hates the helmet so after about 10 minutes of riding, she begins screaming at the helmet. It's entertaining, especially when the people you are riding past think you're torturing your child and give you a dirty look.


• She sits facing forward in her car seat now. Looking everywhere and talking to the cars that ride by.


• She talks to people on the phone by holding it up to her ear and saying "hi". Lots of times she will even take a shoe, toy block or a fork to her ear and say "hi". Very entertaining. Also, when we're in the car and on the phone, she'll talk to you through the bluetooth and will think that you're there with us in the car.


• She waves bye bye anytime I pick her up and walk somewhere because she thinks we're going somewhere.


• She blows kisses at you and will also slobber on you if you let her give you a kiss.


• She freaks out anytime I pick up my bag (even if it's to put it somewhere else) because she thinks I'm leaving.


• She picks up sticky acorns (because her Nonna taught her to do it) and puts them in the back of her little car. The best part is that they're sometimes so sticky that she can't get them out of her hand, so she'll shake her hand and scream.


• She picks flowers for everyone and tries to eat them... same with rocks.


• She can recognize the bear and the elephant in her animal book by giving them kisses when we ask her to kiss the elephant/bear. She'll also go get her big fluffy lamb if we tell her to "go get the baaaaa".


• She'll test your patience by holding her food out over the edge of her highchair just to see if you'll yell at her. Then she'll laugh and put it in her mouth. Yeah.. very funny.

Well, that's all for now. Had to make sure I documented everything since I ran out of video tape in my camera. I really need one of those DVD video cameras! If anyone knows of a good free program to rip tapes to DVD, please let me know. I'm using one that came with my computer but it takes forever!

Talk to you all soon...

-S

Picasa Blocked!!!!

The wedding went well and I was all set to send everyone at work the photos of the little piggy and her pretty dress (talking about my daughter people, NOT my sister). So, I get the link, send it out and suddenly, the pictures aren't showing up! Several research hours later I find out it's not a Picasa problem, it's a work network problem. Our security folks blocked pictures from Picasa!! How absurd! After the CIO just spoke to us about attracting and retaining young talent and opening up our internal communication with facebook like technology, they go and block Picasa. Well, I'm thoroughly disappointed but at the same time, found that they didn't block blogger so here are a bunch of pictures for my friends at work...

Teething continues...

I know, it's been a while. Well it's been busy as you already know. New and interesting things have come about and we've been having a fun summer. The little piggy has been on a rampage lately. She's cranky, crying and having temper tantrums with arched back and all. Probably in pain from teething (or at least we hope that's the reason).

It's funny how people act when your child is crying or cranky. It's everyone, even those who've had children. Matter of fact, those who've had children always make comments as if they know what's wrong and they state the obvious as if you didn't already know. Example: the child has her entire fist in her mouth, she's gnawing on it and crying, this person then says "oh she's teething" looking at you as if you should do something about it and how could you not have known already that she's teething you dummy?

Then you have the few that decide to ask the question as if they can't figure it out on their own and need validation that she is in fact teething and not just adopting some weird habit of chewing on anything that comes within a foot of her. "Is she teething?" Uh, no dummy, she's showing us how to eat the furniture. C'mon, lets show her we understand and eat it with her!

Actually, the crankiness isn't just because she's teething, she also wants to be more independent and can't yet because she can't walk like the rest of us. She tries but falls and then gets angry. She'll get over that soon. It was nice to hear from one mom that it actually gets easier when they start walking. All the others start acting like they've been through worse and you have no clue how bad it can get. "Oh, she's crawling now, just wait until she walks! You're in for it!" Go shove it people! (Sorry for the anger, it's just a reflex.) This one mom told me that her son was so much more happier once he was able to walk. He was so frustrated before and then when he began walking, back to the happy baby again. Thank you for being honest and not trying to make me feel like I haven't been through the worst yet. I really appreciate it. So, for all of you mom's at your wits end, reading articles on how to discipline a 10 month old, it will be over soon. Don't fret!

Anyway, other things that are going on... my sister is getting married on Friday. All the festivities have been fun so far. Bachelorette party on Friday, rehearsal dinner on Sunday and some how this week I have to rid myself of my tan lines, pick up my shoes and get a manicure/pedicure. I'm sure there are more things that will be required this week, one of our toilets is leaking, the apartment is un-rented and needs repair before we can rent it, the yard it an absolute mess - kind of looks like a forest of weeds. All of this has to be fixed this month. Glad that I have so much time on my hands to get things in order!

I found out that I don't have someone doing my makeup for the wedding like I thought. So now I have to figure that time into my Friday morning schedule. Hair, nails, makeup, dress, don't get dirty, dress child, somehow be there for sister, don't get child dirty, calm the mother, change diaper, feed child, figure out how to get stain out of dress, be there for sister... yep, got it set. It will all go smoothly.

Supposedly I'm reading something at the church and then expected to say a few words at the reception. I guess I'll figure that all out sometime soon.

In the middle of all this, it was my husbands birthday and we didn't even have time to celebrate. I feel terrible but maybe we can run away, the three of us and somehow get to spend some time together celebrating this weekend (after the wedding of course).

Baby's first birthday party is August 31st at our house. Invites are sent, nothing is prepared but don't worry, we'll have lots of food and drink. Don't forget to RSVP!

See you all soon....

-S

Look who's standing...

Busy, Very Busy

I haven't written in a while probably because it's been so busy. I hear it from everyone... why haven't you called, you didn't respond to my email, I haven't seen you in so long... and on and on and on... I even hear it from people (not naming anyone) asking why I "outsource" certain home repairs. For example, we recently got a new fence installed around our yard and guess what? We actually didn't do it ourselves! (Gasp!) We had a professional company come in and install the fence. Low and behold, it came out wonderful. No complaints from me at all (which isn't typical if you know me). The fence is straight, it's not falling down and it's clean and it was all done in 1.5 days. I know you're thinking, "OMG, why would you pay so much money if you could do it yourself". Yes, I thought the same thing. Of course I can dig 40 holes and buy materials and rip down an old fence and tow it away and cement in the posts and make everything level and warranty it myself but there's this one thing that makes "outsorucing" worth while...

I Work

Yep, I have a job. And guess what!? It's year-round too! So I don't get off in the summer. How crazy is that!?!

It's actually something many people do (or so I hear) so it might not be so strange or weird. We work and don't get off for 2 weeks every 4 weeks. We work so that we can get paid to pay our bills and live in a house and all that fun stuff. We pay other people to do our renovations so that we can spend time with our daughter.

One other thing... I don't get to work part-time either. No, I work what we weird people call "FULL TIME" which means that I work at least 45 hours per week, add on a 2 hour commute each day for pick-up and drop off of my daughter at day care (YES, I SAID DAY CARE, I DON'T HAVE THE LUXURY OF STAYING AT HOME WITH HER). From 7:30 - 6:30 each day we're out of the house working. Then on the weekend, we don't work. That's a whole 48 hours of time without working. If you add it all up, 11 hours per day working, 7 hours per day sleeping, that leaves only 6 hours per day to spend together. If you add in that the Little Piggy sleeps 10 hours, that leaves only 3 hours per day to spend with her.

So, out of the 168 hours in a week, I get to spend 39 hours with my daughter, that's 23% of the time.

To put that into perspective, that's almost 84 days out of an entire 365 day year that I get to see her.

So this morning, after all the "I don't see you enough" and "why don't you do it yourself" comments these past few months, I decided that I need to either (1) win the lottery and never work again or (2) start a political group lobbying for a 4 day work week. Both will take time and money, both of which I don't have so I have to simply suffer through working and living as I do today. Oh pooo!

So here's my answer to everyone, GET OVER IT. If you want to see me/my daughter/my husband, stop complaining and come over. And stop trying to make me feel guilty about working. If I didn't work, my daughter would not have as good as a life as she does now. I work for her.

Anyway, now that that is out, here are a few updates on the Little Piggy. She now is 20 lbs and 10 months old. She can say Mama, Dada, Hi, Nana and I think she says Cat too... not sure though. She can pull up on everything and anything (for those of you who don't have kids, pulling up is when they can pull themselves up to a standing position when holding on to something.) She cruises too (that's when she walks holding on to things like the couch, the table, etc.) More recently she started standing on her own and not just standing on her own when you lift her up but actually getting from a sitting position to a standing position without holding on to anything. This weekend she had her first corned beef and cabbage and her first cake that Aunt Gina made and of course she loved it. The only thing she doesn't like is watermelon. No clue why! She also went to the beach this weekend and played in the water and in the sand. She loves to throw the sand up and kick her feet in it and just realized that she can crawl in the sand. When she plays in the water she loves when the waves roll in. She laughs if you run into the water and splash around.

That's the update for now. Her first birthday party will be Sunday, August 31st at our house for those of you who are able to attend. The theme will be the Little Mermaid "Under the Sea". I'll send invites soon.

Movin' on out

The folks from my old group are moving out of the building today. Some of them have been here for 10 to 20 years and they're being shipped out to a building down the block because they now work for another company (that doesn't want to pay for the space in our building). They tried to move them out last week on Friday the 13th, but as *luck* would have it things didn't pan out (something about a guy name Jason...)

It was very sad to see them leave... I almost cried (and Kumar did cry). I heard the change is good though, now that the new office has electricity and all. Not sure about running water though.

Well guys, have fun in your new diggs. Don't forget us back here in the fortress!

Oh.. and Little Jon (Intern Jon), be careful at Great Adventure this weekend.

-s

Thanks for the donations!!!

Just wanted to quickly thank everyone for the donations to the Association for Lupus Research. Here are a few pictures from our 5K walk in 97 degree humid weather... :)




-s

Angry baby... poor chair

The Little Piggy is all about crawling around and getting herself into predicaments lately. Sometimes she gets stuck under a shelf, other times she knocks her head into a corner. Well, today she was working on the rocking chair at school. It just wouldn't listen to her so she crawled on in underneath and then got stuck. Well, the teachers found it pretty funny so they snapped a picture:

Yea, some people find it mean but it's pretty funny because after they picked her up, she proceeded to yell at the chair because it just wasn't listening to her.

I swear she doesn't take after me... (sarcasm)

-s

Lupus Walk

3 1/2 years ago, my sisters finance Tony was diagnosed with lupus. It is a common disease but unfortunately one of the least known about. Lupus is a chronic autoimmune disease in which a person's immune system mistakenly attacks the body's own tissue. It can cause life-threatening damage to major organs such as the kidneys, lungs, heart and central nervous system.

There is no cure for lupus but there are many medications to help slow it's potentially devastating progress and help one to cope with the effects of the disease. There are a few different types of of lupus and unfortunately for Tony, he has systemic lupus that can effect almost any organ or organ system of the body.

In April 2008, Tony was hospitalized for the 3rd time as the lupus was attacking his heart and kidneys. None of the medications provided have worked so far and although Tony is out of the hospital, the lupus is far from being controlled.

Currently Tony is undergoing chemotherapy to try to kill off his immune system and essentially kill off the lupus. He feels very sick and has constant pain in his joints. We're all encouraging him to keep fighting and hoping that the chemotherapy will be the cure we've been looking for.

To help support a cure for Lupus, on Sunday, June 8th, the little piggy and I are walking in the 2008 Long Island Walk with Us to Cure Lupus Walkathon. If you would like to support our team or join us, follow the links below:

• Donate: http://walk.lupusresearch.org/site/TR/Events/LI?pg=personal&fr_id=1830&fr_id=1830&px=1677854


• Join our team: http://walk.lupusresearch.org/site/TR?pg=team&fr_id=1830&team_id=36870

-S

The tooth has arrived...

Finally, after suffering through months of teething, the little piggy popped a tooth this past Saturday and it looks like there are a few more to follow. Just in time as she started crawling around recently and now can use her tooth to bite the furniture instead of just gumming it. When I googled "eating furniture" I found that this is not typically a trait of human babies but it definitely happens often with dogs, cats and even cockatoos.

-s

Priceless...

mini chair and table: $100

mini spoon and bowl: $10

sauce, cheese and bread: $2

second helping of pizza: $2

typical italian after eating: priceless

-s

The Loud Laugher

There's this guy that everyone has been talking about at work. They say that they can hear him laugh from across the building. Some people call him the Loud Laugher but seriously, I thought they were overreacting. Every other day I hear another tale of the Loud Laugher disrupting them or not allowing them to concentrate. People are planning desk moves to be moved away from him. Last week, a guy came over and said that the Loud Laugher was reported to Human Resources for laughing too loud.

I thought that this is all absurd! The poor guy is just trying to have a little fun at work. He's not beating people up, he's just laughing!!! How could people be so ridiculous. Besides, I can't hear him, so they must just be over sensitive.

Fast forward to today, actually just about 15 minutes ago. I'm sitting at my desk in my own little world and then I hear it. Not a chuckle but a bellow of a laugh. "Hoooaaahhh, Hoooaaahhh, Hoooaaahhh". It's not an evil laugh, more a very loud Santa Claus like laugh (like the Santa from the movie "The Christmas Story"). It's actually interesting so I follow the laugh. It goes on for about 5 minutes and I reach its source about a football field (American football guys) away from me. When I get there I nonchalantly try to pass by this guys desk so he doesn't realize I was on a laugh quest. But then, as he laughs again I almost shake from the vibration of his voice. This guy's amazing. There must be a trade for this, something he can do to "sell" his laugh. Really, he's taking LOL to a whole other level.

Well, now that I know he does exist. The Loud Laugher is about 100 yards away from me and can make me shiver even at this distance. Now I know what everyone was talking about. But it still makes me sad to say that everyone is being so mean to this jolly guy. Really, there are so many other things they can worry about than this guy laughing. Why do we always have to point out people who are different even if they are different in a good way. Take Matt Brown for instance. He and his mom get kicked out of a movie because he was laughing too loud. The kid was just laughing people! Get over it or go watch your movies at home!

It's becoming an epidemic. Soon they'll have laws on the books stating the highest allowed decibel level of laughter in an office or movie theater. Oh, it could be terrible... then we'd all have to have the "1 foot voice" that my 2nd grade teacher told us about (speak so that only a person 1 ft away from you can hear you).

I think I should buy everyone the book called "Too Loud Lilly". Then they'll realize that they're just being mean and the Loud Laugher is going to be a great ballerina/drama queen one day.

-s

We do "The Wave"

I know I left the teaser on Home Depot Expo (HDE for short) and didn't actually blog about it yet, well, here's another teaser because I still haven't had a chance to go ape on their customer service staff and get my refund. Until then I can't email the CEO (thanks to Intern Jon, I have his email address) and I can't really tell you all the story. Soooo... on another note, I thought I'd share this fun tidbit with you all.

In my new role it's been very busy. A good busy though because I'm learning stuff and have lots of smart work to do (as opposed to the stupid work that I was asked to do in my old role). The new role even comes with some hidden, unforeseen benefits that I'm happy to report.

• When someone leaves the group, has a milestone achievement or something, we celebrate! That means food, balloons and we all flock to the center of "the pit" (the low lying cubicles that house the teams working on the largest project) to line up for food. It's more like army ants than cows being herded. We're organized followers (or rather drinkers of the coolaid).
  
• The leader of our group (the big kahuna) comes to some of our "all hands" meetings (btw, i really don't like that term "all hands" because some people may not have hands or may only have one hand and then will feel inadequate) and he actually does a motivational speech about how we need to stay positive, focus on our release, really be happy about our accomplishments. He makes us all feel good and doesn't actually beat anyone up and nobody spits when they talk. It's nice (weird I know).
  
• We have more acronyms than development does. It's a bit crazy that a business group has more acronyms than an IT group.. very weird but true. I never thought it would happen but I like it because I'm starting to say sentences with minimal words like "Take the 07 WP and IR to BR and get a sign off" and people actually understand what I'm saying! My goal is to eliminate all the middle words and say only sentences with acronyms. Then I can officially be a part of generation z and IM people sentences of acronyms.
  
• This is one of the best... every time our application successfully passes a phase in testing a bell is rung. It's kind of like one of those old school bells or rather a church bell. It says "dung" instead of "ring" or "jing-a-ling". The fun part about it is that my cube neighbor and I have started the clap and wave after the bell is tolled. We now have 4 rows of people in on this. It goes like this... "Dung", "Clap, clap, clap", "whoo hooo" (from Jim) and the wave continues on past me to Doug and then to some guy in the 4th row. Our goal is to make it all the way down the cubicles so that the guys in the pit can actually notice that we are a bit crazy. I think it will work. We may all have to add a "woo hoo" to get more attention though. I think we'll have a meeting about it.
  
• And this is the best so far - every Thursday at 2:30 pm there's free ice cream!!! Now who can beat that! We of course all line up again like army ants waiting for Christine from the catering staff to come by with ice cream. Last week she was late an hour and there was almost a riot. To avoid the riot, some guy kept moving someone out of line so then everyone got confused and they didn't notice she was late.
  

This is so much better than what I just heard from a guy (we’ll call him Crazy Commuter or CC for short) in the old group. He just told me he didn’t get his paycheck. Sounds like things are going well over there! I also received good bye messages from 4 folks in the past two weeks. It’s going really well.

So, for the new group sign me up… I know, I sound like a groupie. But there's free ice cream!

-s

Milestone Week

It's been a busy week and I haven't had a chance to blog about all the things that have happened. For instance, I wanted to tell everyone why they shouldn't buy anything from Home Depot Expo... but I'll get to that another day after I get my refund. I'm sure you'll enjoy the story. Really, what I wanted to do today is make sure my Mother is happy... so I'm going to tell everyone about the Little Piggy's milestone week.

Two weeks ago the Little Piggy was sick. She didn't want to eat or anything. Starting Monday (April 21st) she bounced back with a vengeance. Now she won't eat any baby food, she wants regular people food. When you try to give her anything mashed, she ever so elegantly blows on the spoon so that it sprays directly on your face. As I said before, it's an art to feed her but now she eats pasta, turkey burgers, hot dogs, beans, chicken, pizza (without cheese of course), avocado, turkey meatloaf/meatballs and anything else you put within 5 feet of her.

She even had the guts to belt out "Mommy" last Monday and has proceeded with "Mama" whenever she is not asked to say it. So, of course, when people hear she says "Mama" they say, "Little Piggy, say Mama. Maaaaa maaaaa" and they go on and on... but no, the Little Piggy just sits there and smiles. She refuses to do anything on demand. She has her own schedule.

Today she has moved from a crib to a cot at the school. She's 7 months old and she's out of the crib, on the floor with the rest of the kids. I put her on the cot this morning and she gets on all fours and rocks back and forth like she's about to launch herself off of the thing. Get ready for this crazy kid. She'll probably be crawling today (or rather when ever she feels like it). It was a bit scary when I had to sign a permission slip to put her on the cot this morning. It's as if they want to warn you that you have now reached the point of no return. Thanks! I appreciate the encouragement.

Anyway, I'll hopefully blog later this week about Home Depot Expo and why no one should ever spend their money there.

-s

Chinese Buffet

It's my birthday again (thank you all for the birthday wishes) and I like to tell this story every year because it ends up happening again and again every year. For my birthday, every year my parents plan dinner and the plan is pretty interesting. Here's how it goes: The day before (or day of) the time they want to go out to dinner, my Mom gives me a call and say "It's your birthday, we want to go out to eat." I say "Okay, sounds good." Now.. the interchange at this stage is a bit strange. For one, she tells me it's my birthday as if I already do not know. Next, she says they want to go out to eat.... not, we want to take you out to eat. Very interesting. But I digress... Next she talks about where they are going to go out to eat for my birthday should I choose to join them. "Your dad and brother want Chinese Buffet, so that's where we're going." Now if anyone finds this weird that they are choosing where they'll take me out to eat on my birthday (because that is where my dad and brother want to go), please tell me. I ask, who made them the decision makers? Just because they're paying? But I thought it's a treat for me? Lots of questions come to mind. But I guess that's not so bad since there is one thing I'm leaving out... one very important part. I absolutely HATE Chinese Buffet! I'm fine with Chinese food. Actually I like Chinese food. But it's something about the cleanliness of buffets and the people that frequent those places (very large and slobbery people) that just turns me off. My parents and family really enjoy buffets because they say they like the variety. I say it's because they can't make up their minds!!! Make up your mind, order a dish and be done with it. You don't need 40 different choices of dried up food that's been sitting around for 3 days to be happy. AHHHH!!!!!

Okay, now that I got that out I can move on to this year. Well this year is slightly different but has a similar tone to it. My mom called and said pizza was the order... and that I'd make it at their house. Okay, I can do that. At least I like pizza at their house. But the thing that really got me this year was my husband. He said to me "My parents want to take you out to dinner for your birthday." Then he proceeded to say "I thought we'd do Chinese or Mexican." Wow... this disease of taking me out to dinner where you want to go has spread beyond my parents, but to my husband and even my in-laws. Somebody stop this! Well I addressed the situation the only way I know how, by whining and complaining: "But I don't wanna go to Chinese for my birthday. I want to go somewhere I like for my birthday. Why does everyone keep insisting to take me out where they want to go?! Don't I get a say in this? Can I just not go at all?" In the end, the whining worked. We went out for seafood and I got to have soft shell crab; one of my favorites.

I guess we can all learn a few lessons from this story. Here's a quick etiquette guide for inviting someone out to dinner for their birthday:
(1) First position it that you would like to take them out to dinner. Not that you want to go out to dinner and are using the excuse of their birthday to do it.
(2) Then ask them what they'd like to have for dinner. Is there some place in particular that they'd like to go?
(3) Don't ever force them to eat Chinese Buffet. The dry old food and sweaty fat people touching it is repulsive and no one normal likes it.
(4) Don't put people to work for their birthday. (Example: Don't invite them over to your place to make pizza for 15 people.)

Now I'm off to go make everyone pizza for my birthday. I think we've made progress this year. I'm working for my birthday but at least it's not Chinese Buffet!
-s

Put it in "the book"

There are always things that you say you're going to do when you have a child but end up not doing them because you simply don't have time. When I was pregnant I always wanted to take pictures of my belly growing each week and then in the end, come out with a video. When I had the baby I wanted to make sure she used all of her clothes and didn't out grow anything before she got to wear it once. Then there were other ludicrous things that I thought I would do like write a story of my experience of being pregnant so that my daughter would be able to read it one day. Oh yea and I always planned on getting professional photos of her done and sending it out to everyone in the family. There are so many things that I wanted to do and actually planned to do but never actually did. My mom thinks that I did all of these things. Why? No particular reason. I never told her that I would do them or committed to it. She just assumes that I did these things. One particular thing that she thinks I'm doing with the abundance of time that I have is writing the baby's firsts in a book. Like when she first smiles or first waves. My Mom thinks I'm writing down the date and what happened in some pretty little book that will never be looked at until I have grandchildren. Yea... she even goes to the point of calling me to remind me to put things in "the book". It always seems that she reminds me to write things down when they're about her. Well, I broke the news to her on Saturday we were at my cousins engagement party that there wasn't any book. I didn't want to break her heart and all but she kept insisting that I don't forget to put down in "the book" that the baby reached out to her today for the first time. Now... I'm not sure why the first time the baby reaching out to my mother would be something I would want to write down but she said it about 15 times and I almost went nuts! So, to stop her from spinning out of control, I simply stated "what book?" OMG... what a face she gave me. It was like I stole her last cookie. She was so upset and hurt. "Mom," I proceeded to say. "I never created a book of dates for the baby." She then went off on me... After all the how could you, why didn't you and I'm upsets, I stopped her and said that I remember all the dates and I'll write them down as soon as I got home. I think she was satisfied with that muttering something along the lines of "I did it for you" (by the way, I never saw this so called book of dates that she made for me). So... on April 12, 2008, on the Little Piggy's 7 month birthday, she reached out to Nonna to be picked up. She also waved to everyone at the party while she ate her bottle like a goat (you know like how a goat stretches out its neck to eat from a bottle at the game farm). I think she even says "Hi" every once in a while... it's more like a screeching "Hiiiiiiiiiii" but hey.. in the spirit of writing things down, she first started that on March 29th after my sisters bridal shower. She also first sat up on her own sometime in early March (probably the first week of March). She started singing "La, la, la" about a week and a half ago, right around the same time that she started puffing up her cheeks and blowing hard to turn her face red and spray us all with food. Oh!! and her 3rd ear infection happened yesterday! How exciting!!

So... I wrote it down now stop bothering me.
-s

Adult Teething

The Little Piggy is teething. It's a joyous time for all of us. Sleepless nights, the endless stuffy nose and drool to fill a swimming pool. All a lot of fun. We go through about 15 bibs a day... now I know why everyone gave us so many bibs before she was born. My favorite part are the teething cookies. They look all unassuming with their hard composition and yummy flavor. Finally something that won't break up in large chunks so there are no worries that she'll choke on it. I get her prepped with one of those ultimate bibs with plastic on one side, roll up her sleeves, wipe her nose and place her in the high chair. I put the cookie down in front of her and she picks it up right away. Yey! Now I can wash the dishes!

5 minutes go by. My back is too her so I take a glance back to see how she's doing. I scream "Ahhh!!" where'd the baby go!?! My brain working double-time to figure out what creature has taken her place in the highchair. Then I notice earrings and possibly something that resembles a hand. Then two little eyes peek out and a shrill "eeeekkk" comes out of something that looks like a mouth. It's her! The baby is covered with cookie from head to toe! The Little Piggy is very happy, she's singing "la, la, la, la" while she sprays me with cookie.

I stop the dish washing to inspect the damage. Covering her face, hands and arms, hidden in her neck, used to style her hair, tucked into her ears, up her nose. Yes, she hasn't missed a spot. Good girl!

I wash her down as much as I can as she shakes her head to avoid me. It's an art; washing her down. Or maybe it's more of a skill. Like a video game where you have to hit two buttons at once while you move the controller to get the guy to jump and shoot at the same time.

You have to get the hands and the table clean almost at the same time while washing the face. Otherwise the hands touch the table and then go right to the face. You can get the hair, neck and arms later. They're out of the initial impact zone. I clean her up as much as I can and then I pick her up.

She ever so lovingly hugs me and pulls me close. I say "awww, did you like the cookie?" As if to tell me yes, she snuggles my shoulder and then suddenly, before I could even think, she opens her mouth and starts singing and spraying into my shoulder! Snots, cookie and saliva all coat my sleeve with such fine precision. I have just enough time to think "now I know why I'm not that trendy mom with the cool clothes" before she wipes her hand across her face and grabs onto my hair cooing and petting me with cookie.

Oh it was terrible fun and after all of this, she still doesn't have any teeth! This enjoyable weekend got me thinking... What if adults went through teething? I don't mean just some of us, I mean all of us. Imagine at around 30 years old, people started drooling, spitting, whining. Adult bibs would be the in thing and I wouldn't have to worry about messing up my clothes as everyone would have messy clothes. The news highlights would say "Neighbors were woken up by a man covered in teething cookie shrieking at the top of his lungs. Police were called in and found John Doe had killed his wife Jane Doe by smothering her with a teething cookie. When asked why he did it, John explained that they were both teething and in terrible pain. She wouldn't give him the cookie so he killed her with it and then took it from her." There would be laws on the books that said that teething cookies were illegal. There would be an underground crime ring that imported teething cookies from some third world country. The government would quarantine anyone that was teething and only release them when their teeth came out. It would be pretty horrible.

Well, I think you get the picture. If you ever need a teething cookie, just let me know. We have 3 boxes at home.

-s

Last day...

So today is my last day working on any of the old projects. I've wanted to do a countdown every day until today but that would have been a bit much. I sent out a note to tell everyone it's the last day and I even used the subject "last day...". Finally the old mgr, we'll call him BJ, decided to take initiative to transfer work over to other team members. BJ's had about a month an a half notice to get this done and hasn't taken even 10 minutes to understand what there is to transition. So today he decides is the day to transition, talk about procrastination! Well good luck getting in touch with me BJ. I'm busy now...

Although moving on to a new challenge was in the cards for me, It's sad to be leaving. I feel like I've left the company and wonder if I should have left the company (we'll talk about that in future blogs). I'm sitting in my new cubicle in this new area with new faces and it's a scary feeling. I haven't been the newbie in 7 years! It's quite a change.

I've been learning the new role, at a snails pace (in my eyes). I hope it picks up a bit soon because I might bore myself to death. My blogs are even getting boring; somebody stop this!!!

Well, I've committed to giving this a chance for at least 90-days... so to support my countdown initiative Monday is day 90. Rather, to make this more positive, we'll do a count up... Monday is day 1.

-s

Efwhyohten

I know that I'm quite anal retentive at times... or most times. I guess I was made to be this way (that's my excuse at least). At first it started with my job. One of the many responsibilities that I took on (because no one else was doing it) was finding what is wrong with a project and pointing it out to be fixed. Kind of like a business QA person. Well that is what started it all... now I find myself correcting the way people speak, critiquing driving skills, editing emails that my friends and family send me... and to not be a hypocrite, it takes me FOREVER to get anything done because it always has to be perfect. I've turned into a Correction Monster... and it scares me. Well, at least I'm not a Cookie Monster.. they're getting rid of him (did you hear that!?! It's crazy, they want to replace him with a veggie monster or something like that. That makes me angry. I like cookies damn it!).

Anyway, on to my original thought... this correction monster I've become causes me the most internal pain that anyone could imagine. It actually hurts when someone makes a mistake and I can't correct them because I have to be nice. So, today, I'm very annoyed by people who have called Fiscal Year 2010, FY010. They're probably making an honest mistake because they were saying FY09, or FY0something for so long so they don't realize that the year 2010 isn't the year 010 but I can't take it anymore!!! Stop it people, it's not efwhyohten (FY010), it's efwhyten (FY10) or efwhytwothousandten (FY2010).

Okay.. now that I got that out I can continue talking to these people and assume that they've already received my correction.

-s/cm

Does not play well with others

I just received my performance appraisal from my current manager today so I figured I'd share the fun.

The appraisal starts out with the highest scores in all areas. I received the highest score for team work, highest score for building productive working relationships but then suddenly there is a negative (how could he- gasp!). Apparently, I simply can't resolve conflicts with others!

The summary goes on to say that I'm known as a "difficult person to manage" but my current manager doesn't believe that... nooooooo... he thinks that's a farce and that's why he wrote it in my review. The only area he suggests that I look to improve upon is my communication skills when I'm upset or frustrated. Okay, so I agree with that. I need to stop scaring people into doing their jobs. I also need to stop using my list so often. Well, I know I can do that and will... this is my pledge!

Okay... so now onto the really good part of the review... two comments that made me laugh and wonder out loud...
- I am a "smart person that has the commitment to get things done that may “irritate” people".
- I should learn "by observing how other executives (that have good personality skills) react in similar situations."

This is very Dilbert-esque if I may say so myself.
I don't know if anyone has found it yet but I need a solution to my personality issue. I have to develop my "personality skills" as they are not currently "good".

You know what, while you're all googling to see how one can change their "personality skills" I'm gonna take my irritating, unmanageable, uncommunicative, bad personality self and get the heck out of here!

-s

I'm not paying $19.95 for my kid to be the cutest kid...

Not that $19.95 is expensive or that my kid isn't cute but it's the idea of having to pay to be part of the contest. The money doesn't go to charity or anything. No, it goes to the person that founded http://www.thecutekid.com/. This person simply found another way to make money from stupid parents! They even have a parent "Christine" on their website that thanks them for having a "safe outlet" for moms to show off their kids. That's ridiculous! What part of posting the picture on their website is safer than any other website?!

Or maybe I should ask, what part of posting your kids picture online isn't safe? Perhaps you're worried about the people who will see the picture. Well then Christine, anyone with a computer can simply click on the "gallery" and view every kid on the site. So maybe we should petition (as good mom's are really good at doing that) to rename thecutekid.com to welcomepedophiles.com.

Give me a break... these people make me sick.

Okay, so that I'm not an angry mom that can't stand other mom's and won't shell out the $19.95, here is a picture of the cutest kid for 2008!

-s

Goodfrigginmorning....

Every morning it is a challenge when getting ready for work and therefore every morning has a story to go along with it. This morning was particularly painful and it was pretty apparent when I walked into work... so apparent that I figured I'd write a description so that you all can share in my misery.

It all started at 4:10 am when the first alarm went off… a poopy diaper, snotty nose, suction, and three pineapple-cantaloupe-apple-banana sneezes later we’re ready to leave the house. Little do I notice that although the baby is looking semi-normal this morning despite the craziness, I’m quite a mess.

I walked into daycare thinking “Yes! I made it!” as I do every morning. I take off my shoes as you can’t have your “outdoor” shoes on in the classroom, and I notice a nice pair of red and green polka dotted socks. So, shamefully I walk into the classroom, put the child down and get everything set to leave. The teacher asks me if I’m okay, I mutter something about still being sick and tell her I’ll be down for lunch. I walk to my desk and on the way notice a few very noticeable flaws… (1) I’m holding the suction thingy used for to suction the snots out of the baby’s nose, (2) my pants are unbuttoned/buckled, (3) my hair is half down and half up in some sort of rats nest looking do, (4) I have nice splatters of pineapple-cantaloupe-apple-banana delight on my suit jacket, (5) my jacket has a spit up stain that has probably been there for a while and is pretty nasty and last but not least (6) I’m late for a conference call.

Oh what fun. So I take my unbuttoned, polka dotted, rats nest, pineapple-cantaloupe-apple-banana delight splattered, spit up stained, very late to my own call self and get to my desk just in time to remind Intern Jon of the most important things he should never do… Don’t get married, don’t buy a house, don’t have a kid. Remember Intern Jon, if you avoid these three things you’ll never turn out like me, which today, is a good thing.

-s

Geek Pranks for April Fools

Lifehacker.com has some great/harmless pranks for April Fools (it's tomorrow people so get going on this!)

http://lifehacker.com/373817/top-10-harmless-geek-pranks

-S

Lucky 13!

I have 13 days to go until I'm full time in my new job. April 14th couldn't come any sooner, let me tell you. Just when I'm wondering why I'm leaving and why I shouldn't just stay and fix everything again like I always do, I'm presented with a bright and cheery (or rather dark and angry) reminder that moving on is the best thing for me.

Really, I think I almost jumped through the phone to strangle someone today. That's not healthy!! (Or maybe it is... we'll know soon enough) Some people say I can't work without this type of hostility. I say, I'd like to try it myself sometime before forming an opinion.

I've been trying to get my current management to actually announce that I'm leaving in an official, supportive way so that it doesn't look like we're at odds. I've gotten, "yes, send me a draft of the message and I'll send it out". Yea... that's a promise they haven't yet kept. With 13 days and about a half a nerve remaining, I'm not sure what will come of this group when I'm gone. I only hope that they don't try to pin it on me... on second thought, what am I thinking!?! Of course they're going to pin the failures on me... that's the only way to make my leaving a benefit for everyone else.

Well, on this lucky 13th day left in my current job, I really needed to vent. I'm glad that not many work friends read this blog. ;)

-s

Leaving Las Vegas

So it’s official, I’m leaving my current job after 7 years of exciting times. I don’t know how to position this but it’s a good thing for me… finally, I’ve made a decision for my career that doesn’t consider everyone else’s feelings and needs. I’m staying at this boring ol’ software company but moving to a new role. The new role is exciting… for one, it’s new! I’ll get to learn something and at least be able to network in a new group. I’m also going to have what my friend Rufvi calls “a mentor” not a “meant-well”.

This change has come as a surprise to many.
Some have told me it’s a bad idea and said I’ll be bored in 3 months.
Others have said “how could you leave us!”
Then there are my friends… the people who truly care about my well being. They’ve only encouraged me. They’ve told me that this is a great move, something I should have done long ago and they’re proud of me and will support me although they will miss me being part of the team. Thank you friends! I’ll still be around to help everyone along when there are questions. My official transfer date is April 7th and then on April 14th I’m full time in my new role.

So, yes, as Sheryl Crow would sing... I'm leaving Las Vegas and I won't be back, No I won't be back, Not this time...
-s

Happy Easter!

So, it's another holiday and now we have a baby so everyone wants to see her. On Thanksgiving we went 2 places and on Christmas we went 5 (yes that's five as in one, two, three, four, five). However, since Easter is not like Christmas, I decide it might be better if we just spend the holiday in one location. The idea of not having to pack and unpack the kid 12 times sounds very appealing and almost too good to be true! So, first comes the communication of our plans... of course, each mini-announcement is countered by a "since you're not coming over for Easter" message or a "oh! but you're gonna miss, blah, blah, blah". I don't think people mean to say these things or maybe I'm being over sensitive because somehow I've created my own guilt-trip for not doing 5 houses on a Sunday-before-work holiday. Well, we made it through the day pretty unscathed. It was actually nice! The in-laws came over in the morning for a bit, then we went for a nice walk just the 3 of us to the docks. After that we enjoyed a huge meal (as usual) at my parents house and we were home by 7pm, in time to prepare for the work week (which is more work than you can imagine). We packed lunches, bottles, diapers, baby food, clothes, linens for daycare and replenished the emergency kits in the car with the same... diapers, food, clothes, etc. All of that and then watched a movie. Very relaxing. The Little Piggy went to sleep on time. ~~~~ But of course, just as we were ready to nod off, she screamed out... and continued to do that way into the night and the morning. I guess it can't always be a scheduled day to relax!

Well, Happy Easter everyone!

-s

What's going on in the ladies room!?!

The company that I work for recently outsourced a few areas of the business, one of them being facilities. There are these nice websites where you can log a request and view it's status. This way you don't have to wait 24 hours for someone to clean out a smelly garbage pail or turn on the lights or something like that. A colleague of mine (we'll call him Jamie with a Spanish pronunciation so it sounds like highmey) was recently browsing the facilities site and found that you can view all the open facilities issues in your location. That's when he found this...

How funny is that! Jamie (remember, sounds like highmey) pointed out that the funniest part is that the issue is still opened in the system since 2/21 (it's now 3/20). Someone just throw them away please!!!!

-s

An oldie but goodie...

I was searching through old emails today to find a contact I have long lost touch with (good thing for Plaxo and LinkedIN nowadays... see social networking has it's function) when I came across a funny email, one of those annoying forwards that a colleague (thanks Jeff) had sent me back in '04. When I read it I thought that Intern Jon would love this. It's something everyone should have when they start a job in the real world (whatever that means). It's a list of things you'd love to say at work but of course you don't (because you're not the CEO or if you are, you won't last). Here's a challenge, say one of these things each week to someone in your office and see what happens! (BTW, I cut out the few that were boring.) (OH, and BTW, BTW means By the way Tota.)

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit .
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant. WOW I've heard that one recently!!!
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.
10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
11. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
12. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.
13. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
14. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
15. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
16. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
17. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
18. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!
19. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
20. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
21. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
22. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
23. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
24. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
25. Oh I get it... like humor... but different.

-s

Female in the workplace...

I told someone recently that it would be nice to not be the only female in the group anymore. Actually, I said it would be nice to learn from a successful woman how one should go about getting ahead in the business world. Unfortunately I haven't had the privilege to work for a professional woman in this grand ol' software company. Well, you never know, my hope may come to fruition someday soon! In the meantime, I'll settle for throwing a baby shower for my male colleague. He was a good sport...

-s

Why can't we have a tropical island day at work?

So, the little piggy had tropical island day at school today... I share the picture with others at work and intern jon asks "why can't we have a tropical island day at work?" This prompts me to finally write a blog that I've been meaning to write for a while...

Why are most old software companies so lame?

Well, the quick answer is because we all can't be as cool as Marissa Mayers and the Google team.

Really, there are reasons why we all can't be as cool. There happens to be a function in this world for lame old software companies and as your mentor, I will now tell you what that is...

If we weren't around who would...

• focus only on the next 3 months?
• hire all those developers that like to develop for the sake of developing?
• focus on business politics?
• hide information from employees so they can't do their job?
• make every effort to be difficult and stop progress?
• send tons of lengthy, uninspiring, angry email?

Oh.. I think this list can go on. So now you see intern jon (or not-peter as I like to call you), we can't have Tropical Island day at work because we're too busy finding reasons why we can't innovate. However, don't fret, once you become a head honcho, you'll have tropical island day when ever you want!

In the end, the purpose of this blog was to show the little piggy in her new shades and to share a very nice article about innovation. Now I have to go back to making everyones job difficult.
-s