Goodfrigginmorning....

Every morning it is a challenge when getting ready for work and therefore every morning has a story to go along with it. This morning was particularly painful and it was pretty apparent when I walked into work... so apparent that I figured I'd write a description so that you all can share in my misery.

It all started at 4:10 am when the first alarm went off… a poopy diaper, snotty nose, suction, and three pineapple-cantaloupe-apple-banana sneezes later we’re ready to leave the house. Little do I notice that although the baby is looking semi-normal this morning despite the craziness, I’m quite a mess.

I walked into daycare thinking “Yes! I made it!” as I do every morning. I take off my shoes as you can’t have your “outdoor” shoes on in the classroom, and I notice a nice pair of red and green polka dotted socks. So, shamefully I walk into the classroom, put the child down and get everything set to leave. The teacher asks me if I’m okay, I mutter something about still being sick and tell her I’ll be down for lunch. I walk to my desk and on the way notice a few very noticeable flaws… (1) I’m holding the suction thingy used for to suction the snots out of the baby’s nose, (2) my pants are unbuttoned/buckled, (3) my hair is half down and half up in some sort of rats nest looking do, (4) I have nice splatters of pineapple-cantaloupe-apple-banana delight on my suit jacket, (5) my jacket has a spit up stain that has probably been there for a while and is pretty nasty and last but not least (6) I’m late for a conference call.

Oh what fun. So I take my unbuttoned, polka dotted, rats nest, pineapple-cantaloupe-apple-banana delight splattered, spit up stained, very late to my own call self and get to my desk just in time to remind Intern Jon of the most important things he should never do… Don’t get married, don’t buy a house, don’t have a kid. Remember Intern Jon, if you avoid these three things you’ll never turn out like me, which today, is a good thing.

-s