Chinese Buffet

It's my birthday again (thank you all for the birthday wishes) and I like to tell this story every year because it ends up happening again and again every year. For my birthday, every year my parents plan dinner and the plan is pretty interesting. Here's how it goes: The day before (or day of) the time they want to go out to dinner, my Mom gives me a call and say "It's your birthday, we want to go out to eat." I say "Okay, sounds good." Now.. the interchange at this stage is a bit strange. For one, she tells me it's my birthday as if I already do not know. Next, she says they want to go out to eat.... not, we want to take you out to eat. Very interesting. But I digress... Next she talks about where they are going to go out to eat for my birthday should I choose to join them. "Your dad and brother want Chinese Buffet, so that's where we're going." Now if anyone finds this weird that they are choosing where they'll take me out to eat on my birthday (because that is where my dad and brother want to go), please tell me. I ask, who made them the decision makers? Just because they're paying? But I thought it's a treat for me? Lots of questions come to mind. But I guess that's not so bad since there is one thing I'm leaving out... one very important part. I absolutely HATE Chinese Buffet! I'm fine with Chinese food. Actually I like Chinese food. But it's something about the cleanliness of buffets and the people that frequent those places (very large and slobbery people) that just turns me off. My parents and family really enjoy buffets because they say they like the variety. I say it's because they can't make up their minds!!! Make up your mind, order a dish and be done with it. You don't need 40 different choices of dried up food that's been sitting around for 3 days to be happy. AHHHH!!!!!

Okay, now that I got that out I can move on to this year. Well this year is slightly different but has a similar tone to it. My mom called and said pizza was the order... and that I'd make it at their house. Okay, I can do that. At least I like pizza at their house. But the thing that really got me this year was my husband. He said to me "My parents want to take you out to dinner for your birthday." Then he proceeded to say "I thought we'd do Chinese or Mexican." Wow... this disease of taking me out to dinner where you want to go has spread beyond my parents, but to my husband and even my in-laws. Somebody stop this! Well I addressed the situation the only way I know how, by whining and complaining: "But I don't wanna go to Chinese for my birthday. I want to go somewhere I like for my birthday. Why does everyone keep insisting to take me out where they want to go?! Don't I get a say in this? Can I just not go at all?" In the end, the whining worked. We went out for seafood and I got to have soft shell crab; one of my favorites.

I guess we can all learn a few lessons from this story. Here's a quick etiquette guide for inviting someone out to dinner for their birthday:
(1) First position it that you would like to take them out to dinner. Not that you want to go out to dinner and are using the excuse of their birthday to do it.
(2) Then ask them what they'd like to have for dinner. Is there some place in particular that they'd like to go?
(3) Don't ever force them to eat Chinese Buffet. The dry old food and sweaty fat people touching it is repulsive and no one normal likes it.
(4) Don't put people to work for their birthday. (Example: Don't invite them over to your place to make pizza for 15 people.)

Now I'm off to go make everyone pizza for my birthday. I think we've made progress this year. I'm working for my birthday but at least it's not Chinese Buffet!
-s