4 years ago before I had my first daughter the last 2 months of work before maternity leave was stressful to say the least. We were getting ready to launch our new release and I was the Director of Product Management. While I was spending countless hours trying to make sure things didn’t fall through while I was away for 12 weeks, rumors were spreading that the division was going to be sold off and I likely would not have a job when I got back.
Instead of helping me understand changes that were likely to be made while I was gone, management kept information from me. This behavior was very unlike them as I had been ‘in the know’ in the past. I was never the last person to know what was going on. It was almost like they were trying to keep information from me to lessen the stress. Well, it didn’t work! It only exacerbated the situation. If it’s any indication, I had my daughter 3 weeks early after my water broke, at work…
My fears were not in vain as 3 weeks before I returned to work, I receive a call from a senior manager on the team. (I’ll leave this person anonymous as they are a great friend for doing this and it’s likely not something they were allowed to do at the time. So, let’s call him “Joe”.) Joe called me at home and asked how I was doing. He was kind and stated he wanted to talk to me to let me know what was going on. This way, I wasn’t blindsided when I returned to work in 3 weeks. Joe informed me that the team had been restructured, I had lost my title as Director of the team and I will have a new manager when I return. In addition, the engineering team was sold off to another company and it included many of my long-time colleagues and friends. Well, isn’t that swell. When I get back to work, I inform my manager of my return and no one, I mean NO ONE is willing to give me information about what is going on and why my position was taken away. I was a star performer for over 7 years and there was no indication that the work I was doing was anything but superb. So, I wondered, why is it that I am demoted while on maternity leave?
I address my concerns to human resources who give me a song and dance about how I wasn’t “demoted” just “restructured”. I call bullsh*t and then they say “why don’t you find something else to do at the company”. Oh, why thank you kind sirs… you know you have me in between a rock and a hard place so you’ll suggest I make a decision to leave the group. Wonderful… the 7 years of hard work wasn’t worth anything to you… I now see this. So, like a good little soldier, I go find another job… and btw, I’m literally shunned by my old team for doing so, INCLUDING upper management that supposedly loved me.
Anyways… I don’t like to remember those times but as I have been back at work now for about a month, it’s clear to me that history repeats itself. Back in June 2010, I had just finished a monumental product release. I was just over 6 months pregnant and had a great supportive team and boss. I won an award for my work and was recognized by all the senior managers on the team. I’m feeling great. But wait… it’s time for it all to come crashing down again. I’m walking to a meeting and pass by a colleague in the hall and he says “Welcome to the team!” I say… “Thank you, but aren’t I already on the team?” He says “Oh, no I mean the new team… for ‘XYZ project’”. (FYI - I’m not using the true project name) Now what the heck is “XYZ project”… I have no clue. I come to find out (after much digging) that I was transferred to a new wonderful project and I have a new manager but my old manager has no idea this has happened. Well thank you very much people. Did you even ask me if I’d like to take on this new job? I had a great thing going with my last job. And they still need me! Well, I’m given a month to close out my old job and move over to the new one. By mid-July things are moving over nicely but the new job isn’t ready for me to do anything. So, work is getting less and less as time moves along. Now if you are reading this blog and you know me… this is not a good thing! I need work; it makes me happy to be busy. I can’t sit still! My new boss gives me menial tasks, things that I could probably have done my first year working at the company. There is even an incident where they will not invite me to necessary meetings so that I can participate in the new project. I literally cannot get my job done because senior managers are forcing me out of the loop. Even when I complain, I get some BS story that they don’t have enough room for me in the meeting room… yea… like that has ever stopped anyone! Ridiculous!
I wonder what the heck is going on and it becomes more and more apparent that my boss specifically is not willing to assign me anything important because I’m going out on leave (or he just doesn’t believe I can handle it). Again, while that might be good for some, it’s terrible for me. I’m stressing out that I’m not doing enough to keep my job, that I’m not going to get a good review next year and make my yearly bonus… all of this is killing me just weeks before I’m due with my second child.
After having Ella, I’m out on leave for 12 weeks again. I keep in touch with the people back at work and find that the new, wonderful XYZ project isn’t going anywhere. I get back to work and find out that there is literally NOTHING for me to do. I sit there for a week trying to catch up but there really isn’t anything to catch up on. So I confront my boss and he says to wait until the New Year (that’s 3 weeks away). Right before the holidays my boss sends out a meeting request to the team that states “finding our new mission” or something like that. He is literally trying to redefine the team so that we have jobs. Why did they pull the key people from various teams to sit around for 6 months and then tell them it’s not going to work out? All this for a company that is trying to reinvent its culture – great job guys!
So what am I doing now you ask? Again between a rock and a hard place, this star performer is left to find work so that I can feed the family (and keep the wonderful daycare that my kids have). This should prove to be exciting.
This is how maternity leave has killed my career. I’m again back at square-one willing to take any job that comes my way… so let me know if you’re hiring and have great daycare too.
-S
Thursday, January 5, 2012
How pregnancy and maternity leave killed my career
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
P thru Z
So our office is having a holiday event today and they’re giving away about 25 prizes including money, 59” 3D TV’s, iPads, gift cards, etc. There were very simple instructions to pick up your raffle ticket between 9 am and 12:45 pm. When I arrived this morning I walked on a line to pick up my raffle ticket and found that the lines were organized alphabetically. A-G, H-O and P-Z… The signs were difficult to see so I grab a few people and help them along to their correct line while I go stand on the P-Z line… now, if you know me, my last name starts with an ‘M’. Obviously I don’t know my friggin alphabet but neither does anyone else!!! I sit on this line for 20 minutes talking to everyone, making fun of the H-O line that is taking MUCH longer than mine. I get up to the front of the line and Sue (the person who’s giving out the tickets) laughs at me and says… you’re on the wrong line! ‘M’ is over there! Oh how embarrassing. So in good holiday spirit, I cut in front of the H-O line and get my ticket while the people on the line make fun of me until I get into the elevator. No excuses, I simply don’t know my alphabet.
Happy Holidays!
-S
Thursday, December 15, 2011
I can't think of a title for this one... How about "I'm sorry for not posting in soooo long"?
Well, it’s been a while. Sorry about that. I’ve been busy living. Recently a family member mentioned that she started reading my blog and I felt guilty that I haven’t posted in so long… so here we go.
We have a new addition to the family. Ella is 3 months old as of yesterday and almost 14 lbs already. She’s doing phenomenal. She eats, she sleeps, she pees and poops and she hardly cries. It’s amazing! I guess the 10 months I was pregnant with intense nausea, early contractions, dehydration and really fat feet was all worth it. Yea, it was a tough pregnancy and I’m claiming it as my last… there you have it, on paper (or digitally stamped online) WE ARE NOT HAVING ANY MORE CHILDREN, especially if they have to be carried in my body for 10 months! At the beginning of the pregnancy I was on IV fluids and a medicine pump for 3 weeks. Then things got better once I was able to keep the nausea medicine down but I was sick for 7 months straight. Doctor said I had hyperemesis gravidarum. Sounds like a Harry Potter spell but it’s just “intense nausea and vomiting during pregnancy”. Okay… glad they had a fancy name for it. I was able to eat a few things… like bologna sandwiches, grilled cheese and peanut butter on a waffle which helped me gain a whopping 50 lbs. I couldn’t do any running beyond 5 months (and was really not doing much prior) so getting back into the swing of things has been really tough… I think I’m getting old because even a little work out kills me for days. But I’m pushing through. Doing the 1 race per month thing, running and cross training. I have 20 lbs to go but they are coming off VERY slowly.
Well back to Ella. She really is a great baby. I’m so not used to this, especially since Livvy came out crying and didn’t stop for 4 months. At just 3 days old she got to go shopping with me, at a week old we were taking her out to visit family and then at 5 weeks old she went on her first “vacation” to Baltimore and DC. She did great, no complaints and I’m glad we didn’t hold back as my maternity leave was a very ‘productive’ time… aka I got a lot of stuff done that I’ve been meaning to do for a while.
About 3 weeks ago Ella started laughing out loud. It’s really cute and now she’ll do it with anyone. She started ‘school’ last week and got her ears pierced on Tuesday. She’s a very busy girl.
Liv is 4 years old now and loves her sister so much, although she did ask if she could take another kid home the other day (instead of her sister) but that’s because that kid could walk (or so she says). She’s a great help with her sister and really wants to be able to play with her. When Ella started laughing it’s so cute because Liv will talk to her and get her to laugh. I really hope these girls stay close. Maybe the 4 year age difference will be a good thing. 
Last week while driving the girl’s home from school Liv told me she had a “really really really funny story”. So of course I encourage her to tell me and she starts going on about how she was hiding from her friends behind the shelf at school and then she jumped out and she said “and Mommy, guess what, I scared the freak out of them!” Well Liv, I guess my use of “freak” is not a good replacement for the four letter “f” word. The worst part was that I couldn’t hold in my laughter when she said it… I was cracking up so she kept repeating it. Yea, I’m a great mom encouraging my daughter to say semi-curse words.
Our rides in the car are always eventful, meaning Liv always has something interesting to say that gets me thinking or laughing. This morning’s funny was when she was observing her Santa hat (that she insisted on wearing with brown boots, brown pants, black tutu, white tee-shirt and a pink sweater), she said “Mommy, my hat is furry. It looks like the fur that Santa has on his face.” So I reply, “Yes Liv, Santa is quite furry.”
Friday, March 18, 2011
Funny Stories from this Winter...
I haven’t posted in a long time; I guess the long dull winter hasn’t created any memorable experiences to share.
Liv is growing up quickly… a little too quickly at times. Her personality is a mix of mommy and daddy which is quite a scary combination that does account for some funny situations.
Here are a few funny stories that I can remember over the past few months:
Livvy Eats Healthy – At school Liv is learning all about healthy eating and it’s been both good and bad for us all. First, she takes it very seriously. When she eats something healthy she makes a point to mention it to almost everyone but when she eats something unhealthy, she has this guilt that doesn’t let mommy rest! For instance, one day when Liv was spending the day with Grandma and cousin Immanuel, they decided to go to Mc Donald’s for lunch. Now most of the time this would be an exciting and special treat but since Liv is learning to eat healthy, things get all spun around. She instantly tells Grandma that this lunch is NOT healthy and refuses to eat until Grandma offers the option of cucumbers alongside the chicken mcnuggets. Good thinking Grandma… now we all know what to do.
Ordering Food – Every time daddy is making his list of food for the grocery store, she also gives him a list – a bagel, salami, snowflakes (a.k.a - corn flakes), steak, etc. Her lists get very long but she never forgets an item. For example – one day daddy bought everything, came home and then told Liv what he got her. He rambles off at least 10 items she ordered and then says – “oh and guess what? I got you your favorite, peaches!” She’s been waiting for them to come into the store all winter. She’s excited for a second and then asks “but what about my salami?”… she never forgets.
Raisins – For the past week, as we came closer to St. Patrick’s day (or “Patrick’s day” to Liv), we’ve been talking about the Irish Soda Bread that she is going to have in class. All week she’s been saying that she’s going to take out the raisins because she doesn’t like them. I of course try to encourage her to try them and say “Mommy and the baby love raisins!” So she says.. “I’ll save them for you, mommy”. I thought nothing of it until today. I get a call from one of her teachers and she’s laughing on the phone. She had to call and tell me this cute story… Olivia just went up to one of her teachers with her hands cupped like she was holding something very fragile. She said “Mr. Steve, can you save these?” Mr. Steve, now pretty afraid of what he was about to find in her hands, peers in to see about 10 raisins in her hands. Apparently one of the teachers brought in Irish Soda Bread again today since it was a big hit with the children during yesterday’s celebration. Well, Liv ate the bread like all the other children and picked out each and every raisin to save for mommy. When Mr. Steve asked her “why do you want to save these?” she says “Mommy likes these and the baby really, really needs them.” Well now the 10 raisins are in a napkin labeled “Olivia’s Mommy”. I really hope none of them were on the floor or anything because of course I’m going to have to eat them right away!
Somebody Else’s Car – When we went on vacation this winter, we rented a car. Olivia doesn't really understand the idea of a rental car. She kept asking if we're going to drive "Somebody else's car" today and asking when we're going to give it back. I think she thinks we stole it!
Matching Clothes – The other day on the ride home Liv explains to me that she wore Cassie’s leggings for dance class instead of her own. It took me a while to get the full story out of her but apparently the pink body suit I gave her and black tights “did not match” so she literally took the other girls leggings “because the pink pants matched my outfit” and had the teacher put them on her. I asked her a few times if she just traded with Cassie but she didn’t remember. So the next day when the teacher sent out an email asking everyone to label their child’s clothing, I just had to inquire. Well, what happened is that all the girls had pink or white tights and the teacher put Liv in Cassie’s pink tights accidentally. Then, when the teachers were searching all around for Cassie’s tights, Liv said nothing. When they came back from dance class Liv told her teacher “I have Cassie’s tights on”. The teacher asked her “why didn’t you tell me?” she said, “Because I didn’t”. Well… she’s already stealing people’s clothes in the name of fashion… this is scary. I promised the teacher that we would label the clothes AND I would get Liv’s approval before packing her bag in the future.
Stuck in the Bathroom – Now you often hear stories of children locking themselves in the bathroom, but what about parents being locked in by their children? We have a bathroom/boiler room that is accessible from both the outside and the inside of the house. So that we can keep the door open to the outside when workers or the utility guy needs access to that room, we have a lock on both sides of the door. One morning, Liv was playing with daddy before school and I was getting ready. She was talking to him through the bathroom door and said “goodbye daddy”. We left the house, drove part of the way to work/school when my phone rang. It was J at home. I pick up and he says “can you come back home and let me out of the bathroom”. As I turn the car around I ask Liv, “did you lock daddy in the bathroom?” She laughs and says “I locked him in because he wasn’t ready to come out.” Good thing Daddy had his phone with him or he would have been stuck venturing outside in the freezing cold to find help.
That Funny Guy - The ride home from school produces very interesting conversations. On St. Patty's day, Liv was telling me about her day; dance class, swimming, etc. Then she starts talking about this "funny guy". She does something her Nonna always does and starts the story in the middle... so she has me guessing what the heck she's talking about. "So mommy, the funny guy, he was so sneaky. He left sprinkles on the floor and they got stuck on my feet. That wasn't a good idea mommy. Mr. Steve used the towel to get them off. It was so funny!" I'm clueless at this point. I ask her who this funny guy was but it takes about 10 minutes of telling me about the sparkles and sprinkles to give me a clue. "He left strings all over the classroom and sprinkles and sparkles on the floor. He made a mess everywhere! and he left his hat on the chair." hmm.. mischief... st. patty's day... oh! A Leprechaun!! "Was the funny guy really small?" "Yes mommy, he was this big... mommy look." I do a quick glance back as I'm driving down the highway to see her pointer finger and thumb separated by about 2 inches... ah ha... a Leprechaun. "Was he a Leprechaun." "Yea! That's what he was. He was such a funny little guy he even turned our jello green! He did it all when we were napping and the kindergardeners were in the hallway. He's so sneaky!"
The end...
Well, I’m sure there are other funny stories that occurred this winter. I’ll post them when they come to mind.
-S
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Monday, August 23, 2010
First Duathlon
I ran my first ever duathlon this weekend which consisted of a 2 mile beach run, 10 mile bike and then a 3.1 mile beach run. My brother-in-law did the triathlon the same day which swapped the 2 mile run for a 1/4 mile swim.The race was a lot of fun... I beat myself up well. Wore my bikila's the whole time too. My initial run was okay - around a 10 min mile. Then was the 10 mile bike... which was terrible! Everyone was going faster than me on my mountain bike and I mean at least 10 mph faster. I really need a better bike for the next race (if I do one). Last was a 3.1 mile run which I did really well even though my legs felt like jelly. I was surprised to see that my time for the 2nd run was 27 minutes which is almost a personal best. Overall my time was 1:36:35 and my brother-in-law finished in an amazing 1:19:10.
Well, I really would like to try a triathlon sprint next.. just have to practice my swimming.
Here are some pictures...
Identity Theft
I experienced first hand how Identity Theft can be as little as stealing your email address but cause a huge upset impacting your friends and family...
On Thursday as I was beginning a long weekend away with family, my husband received an email from an account using my firstname.lastname@yahoo.com. I thought it was just spam as I do not have any Yahoo accounts. However, as I began receiving email after email and phone call after phone call, I realized that this was much more than a SPAM email. Someone hacked into my Gmail account on August 19, 2010 and changed the settings and password. They then created a yahoo email account under my name. They also hacked into my LinkedIn and Facebook accounts at the same time stopping all of my methods of online communication (except Twitter). Next they sent an email to all my 700+ contacts through both my email account and the new Yahoo account they had created. They set up my Gmail account so that all emails would be forwarded to the Yahoo account. The email they sent to my contacts was as follows:
:::START EMAIL:::
Subject: My Plight
I'm writing this with tears in my eyes,my family and I came down here to London, United Kingdom for a short vacation.unfortunately,we were mugged at the park of the hotel where we stayed,all cash and credit card were stolen off us but luckily for us we still have our passports with us. We've been to the Embassy and the Police here but they're not helping issues at all and our flight leaves in few hours from now but we're having problems settling the hotel bills and the hotel manager won't let us leave until we settle the bills. Well I really need your financially assistance..Please, let me know if you can help us out? Am freaked out at the moment!!
Stefana.
:::END EMAIL:::
If a person would respond to that email, they would respond with the following:
:::START EMAIL:::
Subject: Western Union Details
Glad you replied back to my email..My phone as been stolen by the muggers i have nothing left on me and I'm grateful to God that i still have my life and my passport cos it would have been worst if they made away with my passport. all i need is 1,450 pounds you can have it wired to me via Western Union. Here's my info below
Stefana [MYLASTNAME]
30 Leicester Square, WC2H 7LA,
London United Kingdom
As soon as it is done, kindly get back to me with the confirmation number. Let me know if you are heading to the WU outlet now???
Keep me posted.
Stefana.
:::END EMAIL:::
The email was tailored based on the message or questions sent from my contacts. On Facebook they prevented anyone from posting to my wall so I was not able to warn anyone and they changed both my password and my password reset information. Also on LinkedIN they changed my password and password reset information. After about 24 hours of working to reset my passwords, shut down transactions to the western union account and tell everyone this is a hoax, I was able to get everything back under my control. All my passwords have been changed and all computers scanned for viruses/spyware. It’s a good thing I have layers of passwords that I use (some are for banking, some for credit card payments, some for email/Facebook). For my email, Facebook and LinkedIN accounts, I had the same login information. Well that has surely changed as of today. What upset me the most is that these people were actively conversing with my friends telling them where to send money, etc. Also, being that I was in the car when this happened (and about 6 hours from my destination) I had to try to resolve all of this via my iPhone, which was not easy! I’ve reported the incident to the FTC and the police. My friend James had Western Union shut down all transactions to the address identified above (thank you for the support James!!!) while I emailed each of my contacts through my iPhone letting them know to ignore the “My Plight” email. I wanted to apologize to everyone who received this hoax and ask that if anyone did send money to the hackers – please let me know immediately so that I can report it to the police and FTC. Lastly, I want to remind all of you that I would never ask you to send me money through email. If I have access to email, I would have access to call you (SKYPE!!!). Also, as a few friends suggested, you should know better than to believe that someone mugged me… me? of all people!? I would definitely hurt them severely and probably steal their wallet too. J
Thank you to all of you who were able to assist and warn me on Thursday. You are all great friends… and if you really do want to send me money… you can send it to my house J
-S
Thursday, August 19, 2010
I'm not in London and I don't need money
Sorry about this!
BTW... My cell 5168183981 and CA email are the only things that aren't hacked right now.
Thx,
Stefana
Sent from my iPhone
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Race Log 2009-2010
| Date | Race Name | Race Length | Time | Pace |
| 5/10/2009 | Elizabeth T. McNamee Memorial Run (w/Liv) | 5k (3.1 Miles) | 35:19 | 11:23 |
| 7/5/2009 | Massapequa Firecracker | 5k (3.1 Miles) | 29:18 | 9:27 |
| 8/23/2009 | Babylon Classic Dirty Sock | 10k (6.2 Miles) | 1:04:25 | 10:23 |
| 9/13/2009 | Ryde Bridge-To-Bridge Run, Sydney, Australia | 10k (6.2 Miles) | 1:08:33 | 11:03 |
| 11/8/2009 | Long Island Run for the Warriors | 5k (3.1 Miles) | 30:14 | 9:45 |
| 12/19/2009 | Ho Ho Ho Holiday Run | 5k (3.1 Miles) | 34:16 | 11:03 |
| 1/24/2010 | Winter Series, Caumsett | 5k (3.1 Miles) | 28:26 | 9:10 |
| 1/31/2010 | Winter Series, Jones Beach | 5k (3.1 Miles) | 29:36 | 9:32 |
| 2/14/2010 | Snowflake Run, Long Beach | 4 Miles | 38:22 | 9:35 |
| 3/6/2010 | Little Cow Harbor | 4 Miles | 36:53 | 9:13 |
| 3/27/2010 | Run for Aspire | 10K (6.2 Miles) | 58:11 | 9:23 |
| 4/11/2010 | Jack Dowling | 10 Miles | 1:38:00 | 9:48 |
| 5/2/2010 | LI Half Marathon | 13.1 Miles | 2:10:09 | 9:56 |
| 5/9/2010 | Elizabeth T. McNamee Memorial Run (w/Liv) | 5k (3.1 Miles) | 31:51 | 10:16 |
| 6/19/2010 | Shelter Island 10k | 10k (6.2 Miles) | 58:03 | 9:21 |
| 6/27/2010 | Massapequa Firecracker | 5k (3.1 Miles) | 26:12 | 8:26 |
| 8/3/2010 | Marcum Workplace Challenge (w/Liv) | 3.5 Miles | 38:00 | 10:51 |
| 8/21/2010 | 7th Annual Tri/Du/Run the Wildwoods | 2mi run/10mi bike/3.1mi run | 1:36:35 | n/a |
| 10/16/2010 | Post Office 5k | 5k (3.1 Miles) | 29:36 | 9:32 |
| 11/14/2010 | Long Island Run for the Warriors | 10k (6.2 Miles) | 59:19 | 9:34 |
| 11/25/2010 | Garden City Turkey Trot | 5 Miles | 46:52 | 9:23 |